Just a Little Humor

Courtroom Quotations

The following are just a few quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law.


  • Lawyer: “What is your date of birth?”
  • Witness: “July 15th.”
  • Lawyer: “What year?”
  • Witness: “Every year.”

  • Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?”
  • Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?'”
  • Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
  • Witness: “My name is Susan.”

  • Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
  • Witness: “No.”
  • Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
  • Witness: “No.”
  • Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
  • Witness: “No.”
  • Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
  • Witness: “No.”
  • Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
  • Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
  • Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
  • Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”

  • Lawyer: “Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–“
  • Witness: “Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment.”

  • Lawyer: “And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?”
  • Witness: “Oral.”
  • Lawyer: “How old are you?”
  • Witness: “Oral.”

  • Lawyer: “Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
  • Witness: “All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.”

Another Great Weekend

We had another great weekend at our happy place!  We had new additions to our group, Steve and his wife and children and Chris. A lot of great food was cooked, thank you Joe. We had a great fire and painted rocks, thank you Melissa. And wonderful conversation. And Hilley made lovely cocktails for national cocktail day. I so love this place and our group. We missed Tracy, Kim and Tony.

Also, Happy Birthday to Ms Livia!!

This is bad news for the Crimson Tide this spring.

 

One of the most-watched storylines this spring will be Alabama’s quarterback battle between Jalen Hurts and Tua Tagovailoa.

However, that battle may not take place for a while now, as Tagovailoa — who led the Tide to a second-half comeback in the National Championship Game — has suffered an injury in the first spring practice.

Coach Nick Saban confirmed on Tuesday night that Tagovailoa, a rising sophomore, has injured his thumb and will require some time to heal:

That obviously gives Hurts the edge this spring, but the competition will likely continue into the summer. Tagovailoa could still win the starting job, but this puts him at a disadvantage.

Saban added that the two quarterbacks had been splitting first-team reps until the injury occurred.

Source: Alabama QB Tua Tagovailoa suffers injury in Alabama’s first spring practice